On Restlessness

Mar 10th, 2012 by Birdie in Faith, Life, Musings

Over the last two years, my life has been quiet, and I’ve been content. Working, spending time with my family, writing, reading, connecting with my church and making new, amazing friends… Very quiet. It was just what I needed, when I needed it. But I think that time is passing.

It’s come on suddenly, this feeling of restlessness. One day I am content in my life and my place, and the next, I can hardly bear to sit still and stay here. It’s as if all of a sudden, I have realized that I’m no longer content with my job and with the way my life feels like all I’m doing is treading water. Up until a few days ago, I was perfectly happy here.

I find myself longing for an adventure, for something unknown. I’ve never really been impulsive, but lately, all I seem to be able to do is daydream about driving until my car breaks down and seeing where I end up. I don’t know where this need, this nagging desire for action and adventure and newness came from, but I can feel it smoldering in the pit of my stomach.

I want to meet people, all sorts of people, and do things that I’ve never done before. I want to experience life for all it has to offer, see all the wonders of God’s amazing creation. I want to get my feet wet. I want… I want something more. I don’t know what I want specifically, but I want something more than this. I want to drive as far as I can in one direction, and then pick another and keep going.

God, You’ve given me this restlessness for a reason, and I’m desperate to know what that reason is. And I’m so excited to see where it leads me.

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